I am not the only one in Hell
My friend Aleta finds herself in her own bit of Hell. Unlike me and my act of idiocy, she is in Hell cuz she has no choice. So, seeing that she has some time, I asked her to do a guest post to give us an idea of what Hell truly is.
Take it away A:
My Own Private Hell
The honor has been bestowed upon me to be a guest blogger. I only hope I can fill Stb’s shoes.
My own private hell began on March 14th. The details leading up to this date are simple. I opted to have hip replacement surgery. Most of us are pretty in tune on the whole hospital stay. I found the “can you rate your pain on a scale of 1-10 “ to be quite annoying after the first day, so I just kept saying 7 or 8. They gave me enough to keep the pain down but yet I thought I was somewhat still coherent. I was given the directions “ on the night prior to your surgery nothing to eat, drink or smoke after midnight”. Didn’t seem that hard of a task. I don’t eat after 6pm, I guess I could handle the morning teeth brushing without a glass of water, but wait…no smoke? Nothing on the way to the hospital?? Guess it made some sense. I managed to do just what I was told.
I don’t remember even wanting a cigarette for the first few days. Drugs can do that to you. I thought about it in the hospital, and came to the conclusion that this may be the right time to finally quit. I wouldn’t be drinking for a while and I wouldn’t be around a lot of people who smoke. Made sense to me. Then I got home. I was always been told that it takes the nicotine 14 days to leave your body. The urge should then be gone. It then turns into more of a habit thing. At this point I was at 5 days and not doing to bad. My husband put my cigarettes out on our enclosed porch. I couldn’t do steps yet, so unless I wanted be busted and found laying flat on the floor that was where they would stay. I don’t think the feelings I was having was due to not smoking. I was having problems sleeping for more than ½ hour at a time. I think it was a combo of meds and pain, as I still hadn’t had the urge .
Then my mother arrived. My mother is a very caring, loving and giving person. She just has a way of getting under your skin and boring a hole. I saw her and I wanted a cigarette. My daughter was there to keep my mind on other things. But I have never craved something so much. And why just at the site of my mother? I made mention of wanting a cigarette. My very supportive father patted my shoulder and told me he had faith that I could do this. My daughter told me that even taking one puff would just lead me to starting all over again (since when did she become a drug counselor). My mother said nothing in regards to the smoking but proceeded to ask me about preparing meals, where did I keep my cleaning supplies and could she start doing some laundry. She is an excellent care giver but will let you know in so many ways about what she has now done for you. She is unable to relax and spend time with her kids and grandkids due to the fact that she is always planning something well ahead of time. She means well, but in this weird way that none of us can quite put our fingers on.
I am well aware of all the effects of smoking and I truly intend to carry this out. If for some reason I slip, I will try again. The thought that keeps entering my head is “ Why in the name of Hell would you decide to quit smoking when your mother has come for a visit”. Thus, the beginning of my own Private Hell.
Take it away A:
My Own Private Hell
The honor has been bestowed upon me to be a guest blogger. I only hope I can fill Stb’s shoes.
My own private hell began on March 14th. The details leading up to this date are simple. I opted to have hip replacement surgery. Most of us are pretty in tune on the whole hospital stay. I found the “can you rate your pain on a scale of 1-10 “ to be quite annoying after the first day, so I just kept saying 7 or 8. They gave me enough to keep the pain down but yet I thought I was somewhat still coherent. I was given the directions “ on the night prior to your surgery nothing to eat, drink or smoke after midnight”. Didn’t seem that hard of a task. I don’t eat after 6pm, I guess I could handle the morning teeth brushing without a glass of water, but wait…no smoke? Nothing on the way to the hospital?? Guess it made some sense. I managed to do just what I was told.
I don’t remember even wanting a cigarette for the first few days. Drugs can do that to you. I thought about it in the hospital, and came to the conclusion that this may be the right time to finally quit. I wouldn’t be drinking for a while and I wouldn’t be around a lot of people who smoke. Made sense to me. Then I got home. I was always been told that it takes the nicotine 14 days to leave your body. The urge should then be gone. It then turns into more of a habit thing. At this point I was at 5 days and not doing to bad. My husband put my cigarettes out on our enclosed porch. I couldn’t do steps yet, so unless I wanted be busted and found laying flat on the floor that was where they would stay. I don’t think the feelings I was having was due to not smoking. I was having problems sleeping for more than ½ hour at a time. I think it was a combo of meds and pain, as I still hadn’t had the urge .
Then my mother arrived. My mother is a very caring, loving and giving person. She just has a way of getting under your skin and boring a hole. I saw her and I wanted a cigarette. My daughter was there to keep my mind on other things. But I have never craved something so much. And why just at the site of my mother? I made mention of wanting a cigarette. My very supportive father patted my shoulder and told me he had faith that I could do this. My daughter told me that even taking one puff would just lead me to starting all over again (since when did she become a drug counselor). My mother said nothing in regards to the smoking but proceeded to ask me about preparing meals, where did I keep my cleaning supplies and could she start doing some laundry. She is an excellent care giver but will let you know in so many ways about what she has now done for you. She is unable to relax and spend time with her kids and grandkids due to the fact that she is always planning something well ahead of time. She means well, but in this weird way that none of us can quite put our fingers on.
I am well aware of all the effects of smoking and I truly intend to carry this out. If for some reason I slip, I will try again. The thought that keeps entering my head is “ Why in the name of Hell would you decide to quit smoking when your mother has come for a visit”. Thus, the beginning of my own Private Hell.
Hmm...what is worse, not drinking because you have made a choice that last for a period of time, or not smoking? Keep your strenght up Aleta. I hope you kick the habit. I will be drinking again soon, I hope you are not smoking by then.
Once again I found myself wondering what I was doing. As I watched the Wisconsin Badger hockey team play, I couldn't help but think it would be better to be sitting in a bar tossing back some brews. I will probably go through that same process today.
Sigh
posted by StB at 2:03 AM
2 Comments:
Great guest post Aleta. Hang in there. You parents will be going home soon. You can do it.
Good luck Aleta with the hip and the smoking. Make sure that you don't replace smoking with something else, just drop the habit and go on.
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